Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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