I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
