It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize