btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
