Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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