Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
