why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
