im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
