So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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