Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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