I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
