Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
