the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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