Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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