wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
