If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
