I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
