Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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