i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
