You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
