sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize