some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize