Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize