What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
