It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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