So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
