Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
