I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
