This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
