another moral hangover. fuck.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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