Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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