just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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