We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
