David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
