my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
