He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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