In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
