Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
