We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize