Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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