I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When did angry sex become our thing?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
