Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
