and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this boner is exhausting
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
