I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was so not down for the gang bang
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
