i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
