summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
