I accidentally had phone sex last night
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
