grandma shit on top of the toilet
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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