Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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