i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
