I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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