Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
