My nipple is on Facebook.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize