You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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