I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dicks are not precious.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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