I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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