Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
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