we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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