Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
