Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
