So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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