I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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