Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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