Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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