i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
