Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
