What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
