i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
